Fat, Furry Dormice for the Weekend...

I HAVEN'T BEEN BY LATELY because I've been too busy composing my work of Great Literature..! Which is not a memoir. And not about drugs in any way... (Wow!) It's a children's book. More details (if) and when it's finished...

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Anyway here's some little furry animals for Furry Friday on Saturday...

A fat dormouse...

(Latin name: Glis glis.)

... Also named the edible dormouse, as the Romans originally imported them to the British isles as a tasty rodent snack!

This one looks more like an American grey squirrel...

A common or hazel dormouse... isn't he cute!!

Latin name: Muscardinus avellanarius.

This is the only dormouse species indiginous to the UK...

... with big glittery black beady eyes!

And quite tame!

... when winter comes he gets very sleepy indeed!

(The name comes from the French dormir, to sleep... il dort...

... WISHING Y'ALL A VERY FURRY WEEKEND INDEED!

A Frantic Post

HELLO EVERYBODY! I'M just stopping by to say hi to all my Lovely Listeners... Things are going swimmingly this end. I'm working on this book idea of mine. Still. Haven't written that much, but have been up all hours of the night "plotting" (evil laugh...!)... I really feel something's going to come of this. My life is about to change. For the better. And for good. I can feel it in my methadone-laced urine. Really I can...

I've just got out of an MBT group where the Leader said that last week, when I was most miserable, and freaked out one of my fellow-group-members by gabbing on and on about self-harm and suicide attempts (from the distant past) and she just couldn't handle it. And didn't turn up this week... (big surprise). But Caroline, the leader said last week I was at my MOST LUCID EVER. Because usually I flit from topic to topic, all over the place. I said, "Do I really?" I wouldn't know, because that "flight of ideas" is so intrinsic to my cognitive style I don't even notice it.

Everybody DID notice that I was really really hyped up and flighty today. I told the group I felt an invisible presence behind me, whispering crap into my right ear and then I couldn't stop laughing, because I felt like a shoebox full of mixed vegetables. (I do love mix vegetable fried rice from the Chinese, so maybe this is deeply symbolic...?) Well it's not full moon, so why am I so manic?

I'M SO EXCITED!

On a more prosaic note:~~~~~~~

Binky is in the nuthouse. (Again.) Luckily, even though the hospital is miles away, right on the border of London surrounded by fields (in the London borough of Nowheresville, where I used to live) she's only 18 minutes away by train.

There was an amazing pet shop round the corner from the psychiatric unit, specializing in hamsters, axotlotls, frogs, newts and lizards. They had a tub full of tubby white Siberian hammies going ~ £36 for all four ~ unsexed ~(which rather put me off ~ the thought of having a mountain of Campbells Condensed Russian Hammy Babies)... anyway I'm looking for a male Dark Golden. Easier to handle (because they're bigger). And because they're solitary critters you don't have to guilt-trip yourself about not buying a companion. Aparently Syrian hammies will fight to the death over Burrow Rights...

... Anyway m'dears I must go and collect my methadone.

Here's a yummy Madonna tune LA ISLA BONITA... D this is for you!

FRANTIC... I used to go to this club every month ~~ and it lived up to its name...

HARDHOUSE ACADEMY 7TH BIRTHDAY, BRIXTON ACADEMY...

It's OFFICIAL: I'm a "LUNATIC"...

I HAVE LONG BEEN TOLD, by various readers of my blog, that MY MOOD APPEARED TO CYCLE IN TIME WITH THE MOON... Yet for some reason I seemed never to take this seriously. Perhaps it was because, usually, me and the moon did not make an EXACT MATCH... just a close one. And because I like to think of myself as highly rational and sensible and not liable to believe in old wives' tales, I didn't believe in this one either.

Except that for the past THREE MONTHS or so, I have glanced out of the window, whilst feeling uncannily restless in the middle of the night, and seen FULL MOON floating up there. And when the moon isn't precisely FULL, it's always WANING. Which matches the "lunacy" theory even more.

Because it's as if something inside me has been waxing along with the waxing moon. And though the moon turns a corner and starts to wane, I carry on waxing, so the restlessness or "mania" breaks through while the moon is waning... Hmmm.

Then I looked back to the most severe mania of my life. This broke out on Wednesday 17th January 2011. WHICH WAS THE EXACT FULL MOON!

That was the day I ended up in a mental hospital, having turned up at a dual diagnosis meeting in a floridly manic, psychotic state. Hearing things, seeing things. My head in utter cognitive dissaray. And from that day forth, it only got worse...

ISN'T THAT WEIRD..?

Yesterday I felt so terrible, that having done everything I had to (and long string of chores for Binky. Well, actually, one single thing. Which involved going up and down. And up and down. And up and down. The same fucking head-destroying high road. All morning. So I got home in a huge strop and took some drugs and passed out, waking up after 9pm. Then I slept again. All through the night. Getting up at 11 this morning.

And I'm writing a letter to my GP, saying "our relationship is not working. You do not seem to understand me at all. THIS is how it is. I could NEVER TELL YOU THIS with my mouth. So believe me. Because I cannot handle it when you try and challenge me. I'm dealing with things I don't want to be real. Then you tell me you don't think it's real. Which leaves me in utter confusion. I cannot work with a doctor who is not on the same page. Absolutely impossible for me.... I don't know.

Well anyway I just wanted to say all this. Now I have to go. It's nearly 4pm and I have to get home. Take care everybody... ;-)

PS: WHAT IS IT about the FULL MOON that does affect mood? Presently, researchers appear to be obsessed by some connexion with the light of the moon and elevated moods. But surely in this day and age of artificial lighting, the moon will make very little difference...? Personally I think it's MAGNETIC...