Wednesday, 5 March 2014

Gledwood TV!

I GOT ON TV LAST WEEK!!!! Yes!!! I was waiting at the bus stop, minding my own business when the police drew up. I noticed an exceptionally dodgy paedophile-looking person in the back looking very miserable. I wondered what on earth he'd got nicked for. Suddenly the car screamed to a standstill, police jumped out and the paedophile escaped from the back! A dodgy looking man was being wrestled to the floor and suddenly the paedophile had whipped out a camera and was pointing it straight in the homeless drug addict's face.

The police were yelling and screaming about a "machete" the homeless man was supposedly carrying, though I couldn't see it. All I did see was splinters of matchwood flying all over the place (probably from the invisible machete).

So the police got him to the floor in handcuffs. The man seemed to go exceptionally woozy. I now know, from watching too many of those reality cop shows that a full 25% of arrestees feign illness once nabbed and all I can say is that this one looked really ill. Next thing I knew they were yelling at him: was he on any medication for seizures?

A huge crowd gathered around and the paedophile-looking guy filmed us all. Instead of bundling their prey into a van and roaring off as per usual, police kept this man handcuffed, legs akimbo for a full ten minutes yelling back and forth and reprimanding the surging crowds to go away. (Even though the entire set-up was obviously being played out on their part as dramatically as possible.) Eventually my bus came but I was so excited! I'm going to be on one of those docu-dramas! On Sky or Pick TV (I think). Looking like a fool in the background! How amazing is that!!

Illustrated: various stills from British police reality series...


Welshcakes Limoncello said...

What an exciting life you lead, Gleds! xx

63mago said...

Oh Lord - starting as an extra, but a start !

Anonymous said...

what the hell are you on about, it's really not ok to describe someone as looking like a paedophile :-/

Bev said...

Gledwood you ouht to be in pictures la la la la la la.
Will you join me in a berr? Ill be right back.I keep my sam adams on the stair way.No room in the frigerifero. Hold on 1 sec.
Im back.You must looks awful handsome on tv.I wish I can see the program your on.How is your wifey Anna Grace.Sh wrote some thing about Russia. No she didnt it was to Rusia so I didnt write on that.
Whats up?Are you inn hollywood?
I hope you are liking the beer we are drinking together.I will put two straws in it and make it romantic.Do you want to drink on my stair way? Its nice you can look out the window and see the sky.Oh and I got smokes.I was rollin them for ex hubby and I took a bunch home.I dont smoke them I light them and watch the smoke swirl but they go out so obnce in a while I blow in to them to keep them lit.
How is my big boy?Sexy.You never write about anything sexy so I know your a big heaping sex pot.You keep all that to yourself and your lady friends dont you?You are a sly one.
May be your all worn out from your love life and the physical energy you put in it.
You need a rest from that.
You have a beer with me.I will keep my hands off you. You mucy be so tired from all that love making.oooo I can imagine you being a great lover.
Im going to go and see if i van sleep now.Have sweet dreams my sexy stud.xoxo torrone nougat kisses.yum!

lucky said...

manic episode? or cant be arsed to write anything? or dead or bored of the blog - I guess it has to be one or the other or a mix of some.

Please dont waste your energy in to writing a kids book you will be disapointed as publishing is all but impossible unless you are established, famous eg an actor or have friends in publishing - vanity publishing will just lose you money.

molson said...



Gledwood said...

Uuuur sorry did I not reply weeks ago? I thought I had. I'm not manic. Not today anyway... I'm ok. Hi everyone...
Beverly I would love to go to Hollywood.
I can't write anything else here and now as I'm about to be timed out and have to log in again next week...