I AM HAVING A PAKISTANI chicken pastry poof for breakfast. And it is a real poof. Every time I gnaw into it it exclaims "oh really, dearie ~ must you bite in so hard?!" etc. Makes me feel like a real lesbian. I decided to have a Glodemer Breakfast since leaving Binky at the gates of the mental hospital. I gave a nearly Brand New pair of shoes to another inmate called Lulille, who is a sweet old lady who got dragged in there for threatening her neighbours who she said were intertwined in a torrid Black Magic Plot against her. But at size 8s they're too gigantic for little old Lulille. I told Binky to give them to Manic Girl instead, but Manic Girl has disappeared. Probably pinging round the heavens on a magic carpet. Then I told her to give them to Bo Peep Little Miss Wrist-Slasher Borderline Personality Disorder but she's vanished too. She might get a place at Binky's house. Bloody hell, the two of them together. Alternately idealizing and demonizing one another plus everybody else. Emotional chaos 999.
I feel overwhelmed by emotion. Binky can't handle me this morning as I spent all night up listening to music and feeling manic.
Well life is going swimmingly up at 79 Pancake Towers. I've been watching South African soap operas on
Oh TV (Sky 199) and
Edge/
Loaded/
Controversial TV (Sky 200) (all about UFOs and
Big Brother Girls slagging off
Katie Price) but I'm tuning in with my German TV box so I get absolutely everything you don't have to pay for. Including QVC's "mosaics" and a feed seemingly into Sky News's back room where you can hear random people arguing on the phones. Oh bloody hell I forgot to watch Footballers' Wives last night (
CBS Drama: Freesat 134, Sky 149) . I must really be losing the plot.
There is so much beauty in the world. I am dying of so much splendour, drowning in transcendent light. Olympian, angelic, astral, beatific, blessed, divine, elysian, empyral, empyrean, eternal, godlike, hallowed, holy, otherworldly, immortal, seraphic, spiritual, sublime, supernal, supernatural, transmundane.... oh wow. And raptures of delight!
And
Beverlybabe and
Anna Grace and
Bugerlugs WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU ALL..??!?
Bloody hell listen to this tune. It is transcendently beautiful.... Like being in paradise.
ARMIN VAN BUUREN: SERENITY
The 2nd one down ~ original mix ~ is particularly impressive...
VIDEO ft VAN JAYNE
ORIGINAL MIX
LIVE ORCHESTRA
And last but not least
THE CHILLOUT MIX...
... you can never have too much of a good thing
Hey I saw Doctor Lovelace yesterday. For the last time ever. Trust that to happen. First time I find a doctor who likes me, who is younger than me, who wants to understand me. Who is sexy. And I have to move out of her catchment area. She found out, by scrolling back through my notes, that I was on methadone and I said I hadn't wanted to tell her because I'd get treated different and she said "but I wouldn't treat you any differently" and I said I know. And now I feel so sad I want to cry. She also told me it is normal for bipolar people to feel high and low in the same day.
Hello. How are you?
ReplyDeleteI havent been feeling well.I hope Binky gets out soon.She goes to the hospital a lot.
How is your new place?
lOVE xOxO
What a shame you have to leave a doctor you actually like. Have you registered with a new doctor?
ReplyDeleteHappy Pancake Day, Gleds. x
ReplyDeleteHi, I'm still here.
ReplyDeleteEvery post I begin to write, I delete. Every comment I write, I delete . . . I'm not sure what's wrong with me.
My drugs worker and CBTist have asked me questions which have made me wary.;/' (the cat wrote that last bit)
I'll try to post again today. I'm still reading though and am pleased you have a new place to live.
With love, as always x x
Anna has gone off the deep end. Caught in so many lies. Do you still talk to her?
ReplyDeleteHope that you find another good doc. And that you enjoy your new place.
ReplyDelete