I'VE BEEN DEPRESSED for weeks but lately it's got worse. I tried not taking my medication (risperidone) but that made me incredibly irritated all the time. (I thought respiridone was making me anxious.) But anyway I'm back on it and feel better today than I have in days so it MIGHT be going away.
My fingers are healing well but still feel crippled especially first thing in the morning. I'm able to wash with my right hand now.
I've been going to an old friend's house. He has a mad staffordshire bull terrier that barks at the TV and chases its tail. Every time I'm there we drink a LOT ~ in fact he asks me to bring drink round. The time before last I drank so much I went home, passed out, was sick and passed out again. Not good! One reason I was so ill is that I DON'T drink so heavily any more so it really hit me.
On a better note my methadone is down to 40mg as of next time and I'm really glad about that. My single goals in life are to live in a clean and tidy house and NOT TO BE ON METHADONE. I hate methadone. I've only had outright mental issues since I relied on methadone alone and not heroin to keep me "sane". It's true I'd had mood swings and hallucinations years before then but they were nowhere near as severe as the ones I had in my outright manic phases last year. I don't know what methadone does or doesn't do that's good or bad re brain chemistry. All I know is I've never liked the stuff and want rid of it from my life as soon as possible.
Well it's weekend already and dark here in London. The weather is far better than it's been in weeks. It actually feels faintly warm when you go outside.
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND EVERYONE :-)