Tuesday, 28 February 2012
I HAVE BEEN TRYING to write a letter to my Mum but it ended up so depressing with me practically saying I was just waiting to die. Since I stopped taking heroin every day and aren't manic any more my life has come into uncomfortably sharp focus and I've realized there is no future at all for me. Sick or well. On or off methadone. On drugs or off them. I feel about 103 and am ready to go into an old people's home. The thought of living to 70 appalls me and I'm not even 40 yet. I don't know what I'm going to do in the future.