Saturday, 27 April 2013

Bitchy New Doctor

I HAD to (very reluctantly) skulk into my new doctors' surgery yesterday thanks to nearly running out of medication. I was seriously put out by Dr Benderson the senior GP I saw. First off, she was none too pretty and yet plastered in makeup ~ this on a 50something year old Aussie woman. Seriously she looked a bit ragged. Like she'd just done a double shift down the whorehouse then come in here. She was extremely offhand with me: "Well I don't know who you are or where this last clinic you say you attended might be ... You'll just HAVE to come back with an empty packet and write down the names of the last doctors you've seen on paper then I'll give it to you." So she did give it to me. But I was distinctly unimpressed.

Anyway apart from that no news. Except that the local mental hospital is filling up with maniacs (of the bipolar variety). Lots of singing and dancing going on down in that locked ward Binky is on. One, according to Binky, showed her a handful of magic seeds which she said would detoxify her, plus that she was able to command the weather what to do. Then she said the word and right on cue, RAIN CAME DOWN. Binky said, "you'll know who she is as soon as you see her."

And sure enough I did. A very loud young middle class girl with braided hair and a homemade crown of leaves saying Was I Binky's son? I'm not THAT young. And Binky is only about 8 years older than me.

Then I asked her to play the trumpet (she brought a trumpet in with her) and to make it snow. But this somehow made her panicky and she pinged out.

I was most disappointed by this, as I was hoping video of this girl playing the trumpet in late April amid sudden swirls of snow would hit Youtube and go viral...

Then a Bulgarian woman, who insisted her only mania was for cleaning, started a singalong. I'm wearing dark glasses because of my flickery, glaring vision. Binky said they don't make me look TOO much like a Nazi torturer. Talking of Incomprehensible Individuals, I've just finished The Wild Swans by Jung Chang and I'm now reading her biography of Mao Tse Tung. I'm being very politic here when I say: he was a wild one one! (Have to be careful what I spout on my blog: don't want to be turned down in some distant time future for a Chinese Visa!)

Anyway gotta go hope you're all well


Akelamalu said...

Sounds like that doctor needs to work on her 'bedside' manner!

Gledwood said...

Yes! Horrible cow that she was. Least I know who NOT to ask for next time!!