I SLEPT EIGHT HOURS (at last (wow!)) and awoke at the distinctly inconvenient time of 2am. My appetite has disappeared almost completely, which is why I had such problems with a bowl of multigrain tagliatelle with mushroom sauce at binky's yesterday. Half of which I had to take home in a bizarre tupperware contraption after I couldn't manage it.
Also, I don't know whether I'm being paranoid but I can't trust, interpret, analyse, quantify or comprehend to any meaningful extent Binky's mystic smoking cauldron of emotions. (And Binky has Borderline Personality Disorder so she's nothing if not capricious.) ~That's why I'm bemused.
And that fake, bubbly mental health assistant who was on duty there yesterday. I didn't like her attitude at all. Yes she was "friendly" but I sensed something judgemental or condescending behind those watching eyes. I telephoned Binky on this point but she says I'm wrong. But the other worker, who's more Central European (Hungarian), intelligent and reserved who I do like B doesn't seem to care for at all.
BLOODY HELL if I'm meant to be a bit elevated what on earth does this say about our God-forsaken world because, in actuality, I FEEL absolutely and undilutedly affectively NORMAL so if my "normal" is the world's "hypomanic" what does that say abuot the unremittingly drab, grey, crushingly colourless existences of the overwhelming vast majority of the population who never experience persistently elevated, expansive clinically hypomanic moods at all? How can anyone possibly cope with an existence so joyless and meaningless, so spiritually down-at-heel? Yet when you finally feel OK, you're "bipolar"!
OH BUGERLUGS, Beverly's computer's on the blink and wouldn't it be wonderful if you could drop everything and fly your brood plus a few spare roborovskis and a new and improved computer to California? (We can set up a collection for the money. Or just resort to shoplifting: after all we ARE junkies!)
OH GO ON!
OK I've got to go. Anyone with a spare chirpy baby parrot out there PLEASE GET IN TOUCH I want a cute and glebbelly conure to sit on my shoulder. Beverlybabe knows someone with a sun conure and it's extraordinarily cute. Like an un-loving lovebird (but he adores his owner).
Here's a picture.
OK OK I'm off 
.
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PS Righty-ho I can't remember quite why I felt any need to do this but I checked the DSMIV criteria for a (hypo-)manic episode. To be "hypomanic" I need an elevated/etc mood plus three out of seven symptoms from a list and I score four or five if I'm distractable. I suppose I do kind of keep getting distractable. Why do I need to put this? O yeah it's something to do with justifying my point BLOODY HELL IF THIS IS MENTALLY ILL am I just a complete miseryguts or is there something wrong with the world. Because I feel pretty normal, despite fulfilling these lovely criteria. THE WORLD'S GONE MAD. There, I said it. What am I saying? THE WORLD WENT MAD GENERATIONS AGO..!
Blah blah blah that paragraph is terribly written.
Blah blah blah that paragraph is terribly written.
MUSIC: HARD TRANCE
Doesn't get any good till 1 min 30 in...
PPPS 2:55pm oh bloody hell I really DO feel "normal" ... what is happening to me?????????????
1 comment:
Oh hello my dear. I have so much to tell you but it will have to wait for later as the cat has just pissed all over the fully-laid dinner table. Take care my love.
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