Rare Duck! Near Where I Live ~ Shock Horror!

I SPOTTED THREE GADWALLS the other day. They are "quite uncommon" according to the bird book. They look like ordinary brown (female) mallard ducks, except they're smaller, have yellow bills, and dive a lot. That's how I first spotted them, by the diving.

This is what they look like. The nearer one is the male. I saw three females but they got really nervous with me crashing along the river bank and hiding near a wasps' nest. So they all took off and pinged away.

Today I saw a male and a female. They do look just like in the picture. Wow. I can't believe that I, of all people, actually saw a rare piece of wildlife ~ WOW!

This is a female. Notice she is more duck-shaped than a duck! (Ie a mallard.)

This is a female mallard. Notice the bright blue speculum (that's the coloured band on her wing).

I'm being really respectable these days. Have been writing a LOT. I might have to start up another blog ~ a "writer's blog".
Take care everyone :-)

Learning About Birds

THE OTHER DAY I found an old Bird Book I must have bought from a second hand shop. So I started learning all about Birds. Then I got a more modern bird-identification guide. Yesterday I took it out and went bird-spotting (without binoculars or any special equipment) and I saw ~ literally all these birds lined up in a row ~ a baby herring gull, a magpie, some Canada geese, a duck that was probably a male mallard in eclipse plumage (ie it looked like a female, only had a yellow bill) and this duck keeps diving a lot. Every time I see it, it's disapearing. 2 coots. And a (male) grey wagtail. If it wasn't a grey wagtail then it was a yellow one, but the birdbook said the grey wagail appears bluish on top, which this one did. Wow how exciting is that.I actually identified some real birds. I was hoping the baby herring gull was a giant skua (known in America as a jaeger) but no such luck. And that the mallard duck was a teal. But no. But grey (or yellow) wagtails are pretty rare so how cool is that? Also, I saw a pied wagtail near the wheelybins by the post office where it likes running along the ground picking off ants. Oh, it's a bird's life!

This is a great skua ~ notice how intimidating and reprimandy it appears. Aparently they harrass herring gulls and arctic terns etc until they drop their fish or puke up, disgorging their dinner for the skua to feast on. What charming creatures. I'd like to be one in my next life. No I'm just kidding. I'd rather be a vulture:

Oh. They're not the best-looking birds are they. If I wanted to be a beautiful vulture then I'd be an African lammergeier. I think these look brilliant:

Wow. OK I've got to go take care everyone ... :-)

"Hamster in Tiny Playground" video gem

"HAMSTER IN TINY PLAYGROUND"
This is a pingpong ball-sized roborovski pygmy hamster, the tiniest type of hamster in the world. I used to keep them as pets.
ISN'T THIS CUTE!


HERE ARE MY 3 LATE ROBOS
Bashful, Itchy and Spherical
This is the only Youtube video I ever posted:~~~


 WHILE WE'RE AT IT, HERE'S SOME MUSIC
AND SOME MORE

Divorce from the Self

HELLO it is a hot sticky Saturday afternoon I'm not in the mood to post anything but I'm here so why not. Oh my computer that I use every day STILL doesn't offer me internet access. If you're wondering why haven't I had it repaired it's because I've been too busy using Microsoft Word to hand it in to some repair person for two weeks. Also I don't want its memory to be wiped. I NEED Word on that machine. I've got a horrible feeling that absolutely every program on that thing is going to have to be deinstalled. Every single one. Wow, that's going to be fun. Because the antivirus or antispam thing is blocking internet access... blah blah it's a long story.

I don't know why but I found myself thinking about my past and feeling very kind of ... what's the word ... I dunno. Sorry for myself? Disgusted? Lost? Indulgent? Who knows?? Well that's the thing you see, I think my biggest problem in life has been that I'm separate and divorced from myself. This makes me incredibly "objective" and excellent at second-guessing myself. But terrible at actually knowing how I feel. Lousy at living a joined-up existence. And very bad indeed at being one person instead of a collection of perceptions scattered all over the place.

I think that's why I turned to drugs. (Correction: DRUG singular ~~ h
eroin.) It made me feel whole and I have never been that. When I went mad a few years ago I was hearing voices every day and the voices are a kind of separation from self. When I was really insane it was impossible to tell whether I was thinking, hearing or imagining somebody else's dream. Nowadays I only hear voices when I'm really tired (I'm not talking about a dream ~~ I mean I'm awake when I hear them, but maybe you could call it a waking dream.) I sometimes see things... but none of that bothers me. Depression bothers me sometimes. Insecurity used to bother me a LOT. But I'm still to this day separate from myself... so how am I ever going to find out WHO I AM???

I'm sorry to everyone I haven't been in touch with but after this I really have to run; I'm too scared of staying online. Don't you feel like you're being spied on? Or that the internet is sucking your life away? I think one day we'll all be washing dishes and get sucked down a digital plug hole swirling with the babbling memories of times past and then we'll get swooshed away into the communal sewers of 21st Century Blues and wonder where the hell our lives went. Know what I mean?

Deathly Methly

THAT DEADBEAT METHADONE clinic have given me a script that's one day short, so I have to fly in there. I really hate going in that place. The appointments are only every 2 weeks, but somehow it feels like every 2 days.

My methadone dose has gone up again. A few weeks ago I went a whole week feeling ill and thinking the pharmacy had "somehow" watered my dose. Then he gave me a weekend script in a big old bottle that was the ready-mixed type (no margin for error then ~ the other type comes as a green syrup and they have to add a stronger methadone mixture so there have been stories over the years about pharmacists forgetting to add any at all. Or selling the strong stuff off.)

Of course I want to get off it but I can never stay stable for long enough. It's not as if I drink or take any other drugs apart from the odd bit of the "other". Also I keep catching illnesses like flu. The real flu. Not withdrawals. And other things. So there's always something. (A brilliant excuse.)

Oh I don't know. I didn't go to bed last night and I can't think straight. I've got to go. All the best to everyone. Hi Dreamer.

Online Problems

I DID GET A NEW COMPUTER but there's some problem stopping me getting online. We've tried EVERYTHING to try and get past this, but I've a horrible feeling the computer's going to have to go to some repair shop. It's working perfectly but I reckon the security program is preventing me going on the internet. Eg the first day I got it I managed to use free broadband from the public library; two days later the computer was blocking this. I've no idea exactly what's wrong, but I reckon it's a security program interfering and kicking me off again, because my own broadband account says I HAVE been on, with a tiny amount of data uploaded and downloaded.

Anyway I've been busy writing and it would have been a distraction to have the internet right there when I was supposed to be directing my attention into Microsoft Word!

I hope y'all are well. Soon as I am back online I shall certainly be back here ~ hopefully that shouldn't be too long.

Back online!

BIG WOW! I got a new computer and I'm back online ...

 But my home broadband doesn't work so I'm reduced to traipsing back and forth down the local library.


BUT GLEDWOOD'S BACK! WOW!!!