THE DOCTOR looked inside my ear this morning and told me there was hardly any wax in there, and no compacted wax, and that my ear is infected. The eardrum is intact. I'm so deaf on one side, the only way to even it out is to stick a finger in the other ear. No pharmacy had the prescribed antibiotic ear drops in stock. The suppliers have run out and there's a two week wait. So I had to take the prescription back to the doctors and get it changed. I ended up with Otomize spray consisting of dexamethasone (a steroid) and neomycin (an antibiotic) and acetic acid (which is supposed to have antibacterial properties). How a simple infection has made me this deaf I cannot understand. No wonder I had been feeling so panic-stricken and miserable. I really felt that something had gone badly wrong, but kept telling myself not to be so neurotic. Just goes to show you should listen to your inner voice sometimes.Just to put me off, the leaflet warns: "Excessive use (high doses or prolonged use) of this product on open wounds or damaged skin may cause deafness" ~ ie the spray to treat my deafness could actually cause it!
I'm getting so used to living in a muffled world that if and when my hearing ever does return it's going to sound quite weird. I wish the ear would hurry up and get better. It feels like there's a tree growing in my head, with the roots breaking right through the ear-drum and curling round the cochlea.
My methadone is down to 20mg as of today. Such a tiny swig it's hard to believe that so little will do anything at all. This dose is one SIXTH the starting dose at this clinic. If and when I get down to 10mg I think I'll feel like I've "achieved" something. What am I saying? I won't have really achieved anything until I'm OFF that rot altogether. What on earth I'm supposed to do then, I've no idea... What do normal people do except not rely on opiates to get through every day...? I can't even remember ...
Illustrated: infected and healthy eardrums
VIDEO
Grace Jones's ridiculous hula-hoop performance at the Diamond Jubilee concert
11 comments:
How fortunate that you went to the doctors, goodness knows what damage the infection could have done if left untreated much longer!
I know. And I'm really glad I didn't pour water in there, the last thing it needed.
I had an inkling something was wrong, but couldn't prove it. The Otex bottle implied the drops would hurt if infection was down there, but it was and they didn't. Years ago I got a bad case of "swimmer's ear" which was actually caused by a dislodged earplug but it caused exactly the same symptoms I have now, and removal of the earplug made me no less deaf. Knowing that made me extremely unwilling to syringe my own ear, especially without the dr looking in there first.
I don't use cotton buds in them because it's supposed to be unnecessary, and only did this time because the ear felt full... Then I tried a wire loop and that's what dislodged the wax and made me deaf to start with!
I think I'm going to leave my ears alone after this.
Poor you ! Hope it goes away soon. You should clean your ears with "Audispray" and never use a earstick.
I watched the concert to but not all of it, I ffed most of the time just to have an overlook. The oldies (I mean the once who have the same age or more as me) were rather disappointing except Tom Jones and Cliff Richard. Elton John looked like a Ladybug !
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well done on getting down to 20ml not far to go now then how fast are you reducing it. Just think you will be off it before you know it! Even at a couple of ml a week ul be clean before the years out. Good going. Guess u arent considering rehab anymore then?
hope ur ear gets sorted neway
Gledwood, You've achieved plenty. Even reducing to 20 from 100 is an achievement that a lot of addicts would be scared of trying. I've levelled out at 45ml for now; I don't want to reduce further until I can do more than a week clean . . . Then I will trust myself. You've done it and should be proud of yourself.
In 48hrs the anti-bio will kick in and hopefully you'll feel better. So good that you didn't go poking about in there (too much).
Take care, with love x
Hi Gleds ~~ I loved your comment ~"Winter in June - How Bizarre" I know it is cold, but not as cold as Europe gets.
CONGRATULATIONS my friend ~~
You have done really well and will soon be clean forever. Don't ever be tempted to just try a little bit of heroin. It has stolen years of your life and you have better things to do with the future. I watched every bit of the Diamond Jubilee concert and the ride down the Thames on the barge. The
Queen is wonderful for her age and always has been so dedicated. Not sure how Charles and Camilla will go when the time comes.
I am doing quite well, still have to use a walking frame for safety reasons.
Take care, my friend and I am proud of your achievments
Love and Hugs, Merle.
Gattina: I agree the older contingent weren't that good at the concert... I've never heard of Audispray but I used Otex which supposedly softens wax then breaks it down, but it specifies NOT to use it if your ear is infected, which only a dr could tell me... It's no different 24 hours later but usually antibiotics take 48 to work...
Charlie: I'd far rather NOT go to rehab as they seem to reduce it far too fast. If you're having any notable withdrawals, in my opinion, the reduction is too fast. And all I've done in the past is run out the door and straight back home to the dealer. I'm not risking that again, so I'm probably going to do it "in the community"...
Bugerlugs: it is VERY difficult to resist the temptation to stick various implements in my ear it is so deaf it is unreal. The spray has done nothing so far, but it's only 1 day, like you say it usually takes 2.
Rrrrghghghghghghhhh methadone should be banned. Why don't they use DFs, at least for the end bit? Or morphine sulphate tabs? Or Jurnista, which is a long-acting hydromorphone pill? Anything but shitty methadone, which has let me down FAR more times than heroin. I just cannot wait to get off it!
Jenni: aye, that's right
Merle: I bet a walking frame makes you feel OLD. My friend Lucky was using a zimmer frame before she died. She always said she would end up using one, and then she broke her leg and her prophecy came true... I'm less tempted by the heroin now that I know it would mess everything up if I dared take it. Can't wait till I'm off the horrible government crap though. I can't believe they're still prescribing something known to be MORE addictive than heroin!!
Good for you on the reduced dose. You are getting there.
Very very slowly, but surely ...
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