HEROIN IS A DRUG TO MAKE THE WORLD GO AWAY

THIS IS A BLOG ABOUT A LIFE WITHOUT HEROIN



Friday, 9 March 2012

Dullard


I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL for physiotherapy this morning. My mangled finger is much better and nearly straightens up, if you push it. Came back. Went to Valium Marilyn's house. She was lying on the couch in bedclothes complaining that she wanted pills: Valium, temazepam, zopiclone (sleeping pills and tranquillizers basically). I said I would go down the road with her later if she likes, but I don't want any pills myself. On quetiapine I don't need them. This new antipsychotic made me extremely drowsy the first couple of days that I took it; now I feel OK. Just slightly drowsy. I wish time would hurry up so I can be OFF METHADONE. That's my one goal in life, to get off that nasty stuff. I really cannot understand how someone like Anna Grace in Hawaii can go to all the trouble of coming off it only to run screaming back to the noxious crap. That's why I'm reducing slowly, to reduce the chances of relapse at the very end.

Anyway it's the weekend now. I hope you all have a good one.

Illustrated: Valium. Which I do not want...

20 comments:

Akelamalu said...

I'm so glad to hear the new medication is working for you Gleds. x

jacks smirking revenge said...

out of interest.. what did you say to get put on antipsychs, and did your GP do the honours cus mine keeps rape-training me to inaccessible psychiatrists for the honour of curing my auditory hallucinations


such a tightrope to tread this 'im crazy but don't fucking section me' lark. i hate doctors, if i were earning 120,000 for sitting on my star id at least try to help people for the smug sense of self satisfaction it would bring if nothing else. but theyll be among the first against the wall after the revolution, so don't worry much more than your aching body demands if you can possibly help it.



~ jar

Janice Seagraves said...

Good going, Gled.

I hope the new meds are working for you and you met your goals.

Janice~

jacks smirking revenge said...

for the record, HTC's predictive text is pretty crappy. star? i mustve typed 'arse' a million times already

Bimbimbie said...

Hi Gleds pleased to read your finger is greatly improving and I really hope you manage to stay true to your self with your countdown to getting off methadone ... it's been a long road for you so think of 14 weeks being the downhill run to that finishing line.

Baino said...

Hello darling. Sorry I have been so absent. I think of you and you know where to find me if you need me. Sorry about the finger, like the new gaff. How goes the heroin moratorium or are you still using? Miss you. Hells Bells

the guy in the silk taffeta dress said...

Gleds,
You sure get an A+ for all the effort. It's great to read that you're doing well and sticking by a great plan.
I envy Anna in Hawaii. That seems like a paradise and wonderful environment to get clean. But, I guess she's not doing that. She'll be alright with her parent watching her.
Oh the darned word verification screws with my vision, but for you & Anna ...the hell with it...you're both worth it!

Anna Grace said...

The methadone really helps me. I really don't understand why you hate it so much. to each their own.
Did you read the mean comments people left on my blog? Why do so many people hate me? Am I really that ugly? Be truthful.

Sorry I haven't been around reading, but I'm back now. My tooth hurt for a long time and it was raining here so much that I was just out of it crazy.

Hows your moods?

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Glad your finger's nearly better, Gleds. xx woof!

karl said...

Hi Gledwood,
Just a quick note on how shit the gear is. A friend of mine gave a negative test for opiates yesterday after having a hit the previous day !
Take care....Karl

Anna Grace said...

Hey govener,

Wish you would update as often as you used to. Why have you slowed down on your blogging? Is really only to do with your fingers?

I have a feeling its something else. Something I feel when I'm not in the mood for blogging. Like I feel is this really interesting? Its not worth it to even entertain the idea that I'm lying when I know I'm not. So I give up. I will email you with my new blog address. Please keep it private. Okay.

Anna
xxx

eyelick said...

:) :) :) you found a better medication. Eye was on Abilify for a while, which eye guess is both a mood stabilizer and an antipsychotic? Weird. And that's really awesome that in July you'll be off methadone.

Anonymous said...

By the way, love that you call this blog "The Life After." It's very optimistic.
(eyelick, needing not to sign in on this computer)

Gledwood said...

Akelamalu: I'm a bit scared about the relatively low dose but it does make me feel nice and calm. Risperidone actually CAUSES anxiety... not good in something the used to label a "major tranquillizer"..!

Jack's Smirking Revenge/Jar: I got put on risperidone 4mg by a psychiatrist who diagnosed schizoaffective disorder. I was manic and had been hallucinating. Luckily he didn't see me in the week when I really lost it. That period was only a few days but if I had seen him then he might well have "suggested" that I go in hospital. After I went on risperidone I started getting anxiety and panic. Not all the time but episodically. I didn't realize this could be a side effect of the risperidone until I looked it up. My old GP refused to change me to quetiapine. I got let down by the psychiatric system who were meant to transfer me to a new clinic, but they didn't. So I changed GPs and asked the new one if he would prescribe quetiapine and was v surprised when he did. So I'm on that and feeling much better. Yes I feel run down and depressed but I was feeling that way on risperidone anyhow. Also quetiapine is specifically for bipolar depression so maybe in the end it will help...? Good luck with your situation. I never minded hearing voices except when I have been on public transport and the entire bus seems to be talking about me. The ones I heard most vividly at home were speaking in accents and tongues and telling jokes so it was quite an entertaining way to lose my mind...

Gledwood said...

Janice: I have to refocus on my goals after messing things up with a bit too much heroin (well any heroin is too much let's face it) but I still have my goal in place. I am the only person I know who truly wants to get OFF METHADONE!

Bimbimbie: I cannot wait till that finish line!

Baino: I was doing v good. Well, I was using about once a week. Then I started using more because I caught flu/something and was sweating and cold and heroin made me feel better. Now I'm terrified of getting a habit on top of the methadone habit I already got so I HAVE to stop!

Taffeta: I think Anna has been more naughty in Hawaii than she ever was in Wisconsin... that's just reading between the lines. I think strangely there's MORE heroin available there than 100 miles from Chicago... I hope she's OK. You never know with Anna...

Anna: so ARE you OK?? People read your blog and see you are vulnerable and a soft target. They dislike your honesty, because they think drug addicts should be dishonest. It doesn't fit with their preconceived notion and makes them uncomfortable.

My moods are a bit depressed but it might be changing. I have this weird feeling that it might be going up... I don't know though.

Gledwood said...

Welshcakes: woof oof groany-bone yodel-bo!

Karl: there's a lot of crap gear here too. I only know one person who has half decent stuff. Since that drought how many months ago... about 15 months of more!... things have STILL not got back to normal!

Anna: please email me the new blog url. You know you can do a closed blog from blogger? You just set it to invitation only ... not sure exactly how, but it's one of the options...

Eyelick: I had this horrible moment last week when I thought the Quetiapine was making me so ill and thought I might have to change it. The only alternatives I could think up were olanzopine, Geodon and Abilify... I'm not sure of the trade name for olanzopine though. Quetiapine is Seroquel btw

I HOPE THERE WILL BE A NEW LIFE AFTER...

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