HEROIN IS A DRUG TO MAKE THE WORLD GO AWAY

THIS IS A BLOG ABOUT A LIFE WITHOUT HEROIN



Monday 12 November 2012

There's So Much More to Life than ... "Blurk!"...

I HAVE SO MANY ideas, but not the resources to put them into operation. I'm overflowing with inspiration for my fantabulous glossy mag. The one I'm not telling anyone anything about, because it hasn't been done before...

Do you know, I worked out ~ if we got a worldwide circulation of 2.4 million across the three regions of North America, Europe and Asia and charged the same rates per reader per page as Vanity Fair and Vogue, and we achieved an average 100 pages of advertising per issue, we could pull in $500 million a year ~ about £320,624,899.20. How incredible is that~??!?

Have I got my sums wrong? Surely I must have...? I heard US Vanity Fair charges about $212,000 per page for a circulation of just over 1.2 million. And that British Vogue charges just over £20,000 a page for 210,766. These figures sound just too luscious to be true... Are they true..?? Can anybody tell me..? Maybe the costs of running a glossy monthly are sky-high also? Who knows. All I do know is that in the beginning I'm going to have a really hard time getting anything into the magazine. And then with the passing of time and an increase in readership and the achievement of iconic status, I know that people and products will be lining up to get in. And then I'll remember everyone who did me some favours back in the beginning...

Wow: I'm in a better mood today. I can see the light once more. Last week I was drowning in depression. My friend Binky said to me "if you need to talk about it, I'm right here at the other end of the phone" ~ but it wasn't like that. Me talking over my depression, or wondering what "issues" are involved ... is a bit like a person with influenza wanting to "talk over" their sore throat and fever and putting their acheing muscles and nausea down to "issues". The depression is just something that comes and goes irrespective of any issues or non-issues (or magazine issues).

My druggieworker was a bit annoying today saying "we all get down now and then and I never feel perfect" so I countered with the declaration that I do feel perfect sometimes. I don't feel down all the time. I get low moods and they come and go. I do not have any kind of depressive personality. I never told him about the psychic voices accosting me in the night, because that would be "mental health" ~ and methadone clinics seem to know next to nothing on that issue ~ and I'm not up for educating them.

I think I made a good point when I mentioned that most junkies are miserable anyway and he said yes, their lifestyle fuels the misery. And I said that I suspect that although heroin is relatively benign as drugs go ~ yes it is deadly in overdose, and of course it is highly addictive ~ but heroin is not associated with paranoid psychosis the way coke and speed are; it doesn't mess up a person's head the way too many Es or trips might. But I'm certain it does something to a person's psychology that is not good.

All clichés contain ingots of truth: so the "miserable junkie" stereotype doesn't exist for nothing. I'm sure heroin itself assists most ably in making unhappy people more miserable still, and I think part of this is pharmacological and not just the consequences of dependency upon a drug that is expensive and of uneven quality and illicit and soul-destroyingly addictive. I think something else is going on, something nobody can quite put their finger on. And I think it has something to do with what Narcotics Anonymous like to call "spiritual bankruptcy". I believe most who have been there know the place only too well, and even if they were articulate enough to give a description of living in hell day after day for years and decades, they wouldn't want to retread those paths of memory or to relive or re-experience or even think ever again about the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

I know the reason I want to stop this drugtaking is that a life of chemical slavery is mind-cripplingly dull, drab and boring. That my life has fallen into a pit that I not only want to crawl out of ~ I want to move on in every possible way. I was not born to waste away in a junkified morass of squandered potential and life unlived. I want so much more...

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Counterfeit UGG websites make a living by ripping you off. You are lucky to receive phony UGG boots at all a lot of sites basically steal your credit score card facts and under no circumstances send a offer. Counterfeit UGG internet websites deceive you, the consumer, and generally steal your credit score card details. They ship you inferior products (see photos to appropriate) and they isn't going to let you return it. [url=http://www.uggbootsinukcheapersale.co.uk]ugg boots sale[/url] Counterfeiters disregard human labor laws, copyright legal guidelines and environmental restrictions.

Most phony web pages are centered out of China, producing it almost extremely hard for legislation enforcement agencies to deliver them down. This puts the accountability on you, the client, to educate all by yourself from these hoaxes.Counterfeiters [url=http://www.uggbootsinukcheapersale.co.uk]ugg boots uk[/url] do not devote in safety actions, due to the fact they do not worth your private [url=http://www.uggbootsinukcheapersale.co.uk]{cheap ugg boots|ugg boots cheap[/url] data. Having said that, many phony UGG web-sites do screen safety icons, which are bogus. To find out if a stability icon is fake, endeavor to click on it.
The More effective Enterprise Bureau's primary worry is that a web site utilizes ethical small business procedures. The BBB will not accredit a web site that sells pretend UGG?

Try out looking for 'sale uggs' in google, you might be shocked how numerous unauthorized sites come up! To check out a record of all authorized UGG dealers, pay a visit to uggaustralia.com. Simply click on 'retailers'. Up coming click on on 'online merchants.' A listing will look with all approved dealers. Shield all by yourself for fashions sake!!!

Anonymous said...

KeqwUPEB [url=http://www.botasuggenelcorteingles.eu]Ugg Baratas[/url]
koesJIJss http://www.botasuggenelcorteingles.eu
tdmwuldquq [url=http://www.botasuggenelcorteingles.eu/#0642]Botas Ugg Baratas[/url]
CWQyKpruy dczpqs [url=http://www.botasuggenelcorteingles.eu]Ugg España[/url]
TwyIPFZZsmt PwwmHVMO [url=http://doudounecanadagoosehommepascher.eu]Doudoune Canada Goose Femme Prix[/url]
iyxbBHNaw ZsfsUVJF http://www.kopacanadagoosebilligt.eu
bxmpPQTbg

Anonymous said...

锘縏he actuality of the subject is that throughout this busy getaway [url=http://www.uggsbootscheapersale.co.uk]ugg boots cheap[/url] season, the vast majority of people will interested in quite a few of the similar solutions. For instance, ugg boots are a single solution that will undoubtedly be extremely sought following this year. Above the past couple of a long time there has been a ton of desire in the products inside of the trend world and that has aided to make it one of the largest trends for this holiday getaway browsing season. This has had so numerous price range prudent getaway shoppers inquiring, where by can I obtain ugg boots on the net?

What Stores Offer Ugg Boots?

There are most certainly some things that you will want to think about when seeking for low cost ugg boots on the web. Sad to say, the bigger, common retailers on the internet that the bulk of clients employ have tested to cost considerably even more for these products than the scaled-down suppliers. This is why hunting for some merchants off the on-line crushed path will most probably be your ideal guess.
Some of the far more nicely known brick and mortar suppliers often have price levels that are marked up significantly larger than wholesale suppliers and more compact on the internet shops that often provide superb details. For instance wholesale suppliers are a definite must this 12 months for acquiring offers. The rates readily available through these progressive new internet wholesalers are considerably far better than regular retailers. The majority of storeowners traditionally certainly not decrease their rates for goods that are very sought after throughout the holidays. It can be no shock online wholesalers have come to be so attractive to clients. With so substantially need for the [url=http://www.uggsbootscheapersale.co.uk]ugg boots cheap[/url] brand name above the vacations, there are quite a few good internet suppliers these types of as EApparelstore.com presenting substantial discount rates by way of an unheard of ugg boots sale.

Which Merchants Carry Ugg?

In some cases the [url=http://www.uggsbootscheapersale.co.uk]ugg boots sale[/url] main issue for vacation shoppers is building guaranteed they are able to even identify a shop that has the solution they are soon after. Yet, the beneficial news is that the on the web wholesale deliver an great different as they are acknowledged for having huge inventories and preserving in demand services in inventory as prolonged as possible. This is naturally a enormous bonus for so many consumers interested in gaining their hands on ugg boots this period and will unquestionably be a thing so countless people today will be getting advantage of.

Anonymous said...

锘縐GG original which means is snowfall footwear . Their intention the following: begin a tour [url=http://www.uggsbootscheapersale.co.uk]ugg boots sale[/url] from the full sheep's made of woll.

For that rationale product teams for Timeless ugg boots for that snow applying the varieties are really comparable . UGG Snowfall in the twenties emerged nationwide, to begin with unpleasant as SHOE hideous boots and backare identified, which range from an intermittent use each day. y.

Traditional ugg boots snowpossess a extended [url=http://www.uggsbootscheapersale.co.uk]ugg boots cheap[/url] track record: The objects in memberane or wool like a raw components for the top and the variations utilized which is also an [url=http://www.uggsbootscheapersale.co.uk]ugg boots uk[/url] critical factor of UGG. Memberane and wool ought to be initial, the greatest profit of is comfortable and to be ready to, and every can be carried out at the same exact time, relying exclusively on recycleables.

In addition , employees also deal with specifically the identical sort of products, even though vegetation in general, TPR or even AVOI .

Anonymous said...

锘緼 caricature is a drawing of a person that exaggerates his or her attribute attributes for comic effect. The exciting and cartoonish design of these drawings make them an effortless type to start out with. But they're not just for inexperienced persons. Authorities can normally throw an amazing sketch jointly in mere minutes, which can make a acceptable dwelling from the vacationer promote. They can be identified at amusement parks and carnivals all about the community, but they are most ample in the European way of life. Las Ramblas or other busking incredibly hot spots are well known stations. But we really don't all want to know how to attract a caricature in minutes, for most of us it's about relishing the finished item, no subject how very long it took.

Caricatures are a well-known way to poke exciting at numerous existing affairs. The exaggeration ingredient is wonderful for that kind of satire. As these kinds of you can expect to locate famous people and other renowned faces are commonly drawn in newspaper article content and magazines. Drawings applied in this way are established by choosing on components of a person's conduct or character as very well as their appearance. For illustration, someone who is regarded for chatting too very much could be given a even bigger than common mouth. The illustrator could even come to a decision to accentuate this trait by drawing their foot in their mouth to seriously emphasise the position. It really comes down to the perception of humour of the artist and their audience, but some of the perfect caricatures will have a handful of levels to their preliminary "joke".


The very first move to drawing a beneficial caricature, is increasing your eye for detail. You ought to teach your eye to pick out the most distinguished, unconventional or exciting characteristics of the subject matter you are drawing. Eyes, ears and tooth are typical factors of variance, but nearly everything on the deal with can be a superior location to start. Some artists will extend the picture into a full-system sketch, but most caricatures are from the shoulders up. The total shape solution is generally regarded as additional technically troublesome, but can supply a beginner with more useful materials to make his or [url=http://www.uggsbootscheapersale.co.uk]ugg boots cheap[/url] her topic recognizable. You could possibly select to have your issue in a specified pose or setting. [url=http://www.uggsbootscheapersale.co.uk]ugg boots sale[/url] A singer or musician could have a microphone or instrument in their hand. Or a sports activities star may have their bat of option or a ball or a specific thing. Any of these selections will include to your photograph and make it appear a lot more intriguing. So do think about whether or not or not you want any props to be incorporated.

It is regularly a excellent notion to follow with men and women from even now photographs. There are numerous pics in publications or on the online world of appropriate topics to attract - you're most effective to get started off with people today who will not get offended if a detail or two go mistaken! [url=http://www.uggsbootscheapersale.co.uk]ugg boots uk[/url] So these are the fundamental principles about figuring out . As you turn out to be even more observant and additional proficient your photographs will strengthen and you'll be whipping up shots with the very best of them!


To learn about even more about in basic check out www.sketchapic.com .

Anonymous said...

When the wind normally takes away the very last leaves, autumn is coming. No matter if you ever possess a pair of Ugg boots or not, Ugg is a have to have for autumn. Ugg provides womens Ugg [url=http://www.uggbootscheapersale.com]ugg boots sale[/url] boot, men's Ugg boot and children's Ugg boot.



Ugg boots make ladies extra wonderful and adorable. In autumn, you can decide Ugg timeless brief boot. Your toes will be secured from coldness. The boots also add elegance to you. Women's Ugg boot can be worn with jackets, sweaters, jeans, etcetera. will give you a cozy and attractive autumn. Ugg boots are getting more and a lot more well-liked and get pleasure from broad level of popularity in the environment. They are made of superior high quality sheepskin. The boots experience comfortable and snug. As for adult men, Ugg boots are beneficial for them, as well. The designs and styles will make adult men extensive of masculinity. The convenience and pleasant models attract several adult males. Guys can use all forms of garments with their Ugg footwear.

The only pity is that Womens Ugg boot are not very affordable [url=http://www.uggbootscheaperoutlet.com]uggs outlet[/url] for every single girl. The selling price is superior as its position. At the time of economic disaster, no person needs to spend a lot of [url=http://www.uggscheapersale.com]ugg boots cheap[/url] income on luxurious shoes. Will we give up the shoes we like? No! By browsing on the net, we can get the shoes we want with no spending much. We can get the shoes with low cost charges. To buy affordable Ugg boot, you can decide on some trustworthy online shoes suppliers.

If you are wanting for low-priced Ugg boot, you can invest in Ugg on-line. Maybe you can get lots of effects. There are many on the internet Ugg boot suppliers. The price tag of these Ugg boots is more cost-effective than these in the promote although the patterns of these Ugg are much more. Low cost Ugg boot is common with people given that thrift is generally a very good routine even if you have a great deal of dollars.

More information and facts:

Anonymous said...

Fashion designers usually occur up with novel ideas to [url=http://www.uggbootsinukcheapersale.co.uk]ugg boots sale[/url] shock the plebs. Female is always their popular concentrate. This spring they provide their exotic concepts to women's ft very.

When there is an grow in the temperature, most adult females hurry to buy spring apparel and footwear. They know a fashionable glance is of good significance. They hope to be unique in the crowd with their special temperament and manner decorations. As for the each day footwear, they switch winter months leather boots and chilly-proof sneakers with some fashionable and refreshing spring models.

Adult females are highly endorsed to assume for more minutes if they program to set UGG boots apart whilst updating the closet things. You will discover interesting that these sheepskin boots are some of the best spring footwear too.

It can be a fact that UGG boots are crafted from Australian merino sheepskin. This materials is extremely practical in retaining feet hot even in freezing weather. But it has been proved by authority that wool is also useful in cooling feet down in hot weather. It can wick coldness and dampness in chilly times. Also it can repel hotness and sweat in incredibly hot local climate. Due to special fiber parts on sheepskin, feet can breathe freely inside. A fluent air flow is genuinely [url=http://www.uggbootsinukcheapersale.co.uk]ugg boots cheap[/url] helpful in retaining a regular temperature all-around toes whichever the outer local weather is.

As the very best spring footwear, UGG boots not only firmly assure comfort, but also finish modern appears to be like. If you are a trend devotee, you would know this form of footwear has won an unbelievably wonderful attractiveness all over the world. It's been so normal to see super-famed celebrities also have on Australian sheepskin boots. Let us [url=http://www.uggbootsinukcheapersale.co.uk]ugg boots uk[/url] encounter it: alternatives loved by respected individuals will also be good choices for the widespread.

How can UGG boots end trendy looks? Truthfully speaking, picking out the design is your individual possibility. You know which fashion is meant for you or your one of a kind style. There is a large variety of fashion to pick out from. But regardless of what model you pick out, you will come across it common. It is appropriate for whichever clothing you strategy to use because of to its very simple, but trendy glance.

The finest spring footwear should make the wearer not only look superb, but also truly feel terrific. Both have been realized by UGG sheepskin boots now.

Akelamalu said...

Glad to hear you're feeling brighter. x

GLEDWOOD said...

Hey it didn't last it's now Weds and I feel crap again!

Bev said...

I feel crappy to.Im over the emotional parts for now but I really made myself sick.

Gledwood said...

anon: I just got your comment archepelago today, having fished it out of my spam bin I'm not THAT interested in buying Ugg boots ~ fake Chinese or otherwise... but you seem utterly obsessed by the idea. What gives?

Syd said...

I really hope that you can quit. But I've written this again and again for several years. It's something that you have to do. No one can make you feel better and get over it.

Gledwood said...

I certainly can't make myself feel better. Probably nobody can... that is, make me OR themselves feel better. It's probably a dead loss, all of it...