American-style Crisscross Fries

I COULDN'T FIND "American-style curly fries" last time I looked in Iceland ~ no I'm not a jetset food tourist: Iceland is the about the cheapest food shop in Britain. Especially if like me you have really chavvy taste. So instead of curly I went crisscross ~ and they are deliciously vulgar. I can really imagine eating them on the 18th floor of a towerblock in the flat next to a crackhouse. The type of block where the lifts stink of skunk and the only gold in sight (that isn't round the drugdealer's neck) is on packets of Benson and Hedges cigarettes. It's not all bad living in the sky. You do get really amazing TV reception up there.

(I don't smoke Benson and Hedges: they're too expensive for me. I smoke Berkley or Sterling Superkings, broken into 3 and rolled into 3 separate mini-cigarettes, complete with Swan mini-filters. This way I can go an entire 24-hours on just "10" cigarettes (made into 30).

When I'm really broke, I pick up dog-ends from the bus stop, but you have to be careful when you find what looks like a really juicy discarded roll-up. Several times I've imbibed cannabis this way. Cannabis is the drug I loathe beyond all others. It's like paranoid schizophrenia and Alzheimer's rolled into a skin. Last time I smoked it (and that really was by accident) I was hearing voices within about 4 tokes. It's nasty nasty stuff. Psychosis without the manic, elevated mood.

Anyway what was I talking about. O yeah crisscross fries. I eat mine with battered cod chunks and chopped tomatoes doused in black pepper and vinegar.

Does anyone follow Real Housewives of New York City? Yesterday I finally caught up with enough to be able to follow the story. Isn't that LuAnn a bitch when she's angry? Very beautiful though. How old is she? Does she have great genes or a great plastic surgeon, or both? She was having a massive row with Alex over some inter-housewife hiccup on their marakesh trip. She's the kind of girl you have to go several rounds with in the verbal fighting before you get to shoot every point she makes down in flames.

I just found out she was born in 1965, so she's about 47..?? Anyway I feel sorry for people appearing in those docusoaps. What it's easy for the viewer to forget is that whenever you end up in a fight with another character, you're not just interested in winning the fight. Your entire social standing and reputation could depend on the outcome. So no stress then.

American TV producers have a weird grasp of the word "housewife". Here it means a stay-at-home wife and/or mother who spends her days doing minor chores between tea and biscuits and turgid TV of the kind I watch...

Anyway I can't wait till I get foreign telly piped in. I'm so fed up of the English crap it's unreal.

I haven't touched heroin in days. 15 or 16mg methadone, whatever the dose is, holds me perfectly. I make sure I drink it in the early afternoon ~ which means there's little to no risk of waking in the morning feeling sick and not wanting to face the walk to the chemists plus an hour-+ wait after drinking to feel OK again.


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Illustrated: crisscross fries; Benson & Hedges; Sterling Superkings used to cost about £2.96 for 10, now they're usually £3.15. I have never seen them on sale at £2.20 (far as I know they were only put on the market about a year ago); LuAnn de Lesseps ~ I have no idea what the subtitle means.

PS I just found out "to imbibe" means to drink in. I've never drunk cannabis (though there is a method of soaking grass into vodka) ~ what the hell; I like the sound of it so it's staying in...

VIDEO
MANIC STREET PREACHERS: DESIGN FOR A LIFE
THIS song is for you BEVERLYBABE and ANNA GRACE:~~ "We don't talk about love ~ we only want to get drunk..."
Usually I'm not that into this guitar-type music, but this tune is a classic.



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