HEROIN IS A DRUG TO MAKE THE WORLD GO AWAY

THIS IS A BLOG ABOUT A LIFE WITHOUT HEROIN



Sunday, 30 December 2012

Nobody's Victim

I AM WRITING this down the local internet shop. I just had to get out of the house. Something happened today that probably counts as "bizarre". I don't know what to do about it. Every time it crosses my mind I feel excitable. Well that's better than
feeling paraniod, or worse still panic-stricken with worry. I refuse to indulge in pathological worry as I did when I was younger. I am 40 years old: way too ancient to be victimized by thoughts induced by ridiculously stupid people who don't even know me, much less warrant my attention.

My sleep had cycled so far back, that I ws lying awake past 9am and getting up after 3. Last night I managed to drop of at 3:30, after seeing Dynasy The Reunion (which I don't recommend you watch). I thought 3:30 was too good to be true, because I woke up three times in the next three hours and then decided to get up. That terrible Genie Bra infomercial was showing, yet again. But no Sheer Cover or Insanity Workout. (O why do I watch that crap?) And then my head went into a ranting torrent of ideas. I can't relax. I don't want to relax. I'm starting to feel high. Again.

Anyway, then at 1pm my Odd Encounter occurred. I slept again: 2:30 till 5:30. I wish I could stay asleep for longer than three hours.

Then I found out how bizarre this Thing That Happened actually was and nearly flipped my lid, but I managed not to. I am trying to sit still and not exhaust myself. Staying still keeps me a lot calmer. You know they say exercise alleviates depression? What they don't tell you is that if you're feeling over-excited already, just trotting down the corner shop can send mania spiking through the roof. I'm not that extreme today, but I did end up wandering up and down my local cigarettes and jaffa cakes dispensary this afternoon feeling a bit inanely Elevated.

Well I can't go on. That's all. See you tomorrow.

Oh PS tomorrow is the last day, according to my Agreement With Myself, when I could indulge in that LIFE-RUINING CRAP they call heroin. And I still don't want to...

SHEER COVER
Binky finds my own Emma Forbes impression hilarious...



TAME LOVEBIRDS
Not that I'm obsessed with these birdies or anything...



BABY LOVEBIRDS HAVING A CHAT
"ARE YOU CHIRPING AWAY?... YES YOU ARE! CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP!!..."



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7 comments:

Bev said...

The love birds come in so many color combos.I wonder which you will pick.Messy melted ice cream kisses XoXO

Liz said...

Did you know that parakeets live wild in Egham and round Windsor way? Anyway, do get a love bird or two.

Gledwood, for 2013, I wish you a drug free year. A year that sees you take the step from where you are to more solid ground. I wish you an adventure in life and love.
xxx
Woof from George

Syd said...

Gleds, read Mr. Sponsor Pants today. He has some good words of encouragement there about you and others who want to give up life killing substances. I wish you the best on it. I am hoping that you do have a drug and alcohol free year where you can accomplish so much with your intellect.

Gledwood said...

BEVERLYBABE: if I had a perfect choice and no restrictions I'd probably go for peach-faced (green) and blue. The blue ones look like pigeons (to me)...

I never ate any ice cream over Xmas... far too fattening 4me. Usually I like mince pies with vanilla ice cream but not this year. So I'm sending chocolate lime kisses back XxXxXxX I don't eat 'em any more because they're too fattening but they ARE nice...

LIZ: o thank you Elizabeth. I'm already off the alcohol, for the most part. I've just lost interest in drinking... how odd is that. As for the Big H... ukh. Please, never again. Not in 2013. I'm allowed to use it any time up till midnight but then that's it. No more gear for me for ever!

I know you get Indian ringneck parrakeets in various parts of London, but I've never knowingly seen one, unfortunately...

SYD: thanks for that. I will have a look for this "mr sponsor pants" but don't remember ever seeing his blog before...

Akelamalu said...

If you do indulge, please make today's the VERY LAST ONE you ever do. Make 2013 your first clean year. x

Bev said...

I really like the love bird up there who looks like hes been painted with water colors.He almost dont look real and is sooo pretty.
Wehave those same commercials here and I mute them every time.
I will keep you in my prayers.
This reminds me of a poem an elderly lady gave me called New Beginnings and thats what Im praying forXoXo

Gledwood said...

AKELAMALU: ukh I did go out and score and I can't face ever doing it again. Please wish me the very best of luck as I'm sure I shall need it...

BEVERLY: yeah I love the watercolours look and also peach-faced against green and black-faced against blue or violet...
Hey why don't you post up that poem chez toi..??!?