HEROIN IS A DRUG TO MAKE THE WORLD GO AWAY

THIS IS A BLOG ABOUT A LIFE WITHOUT HEROIN



Monday 17 December 2012

Too Hot (And Too Cold Outside)


BLOODY HELL I AM SWEATING like a pig-fucking swine {how rude of me!}. Why do other people turn up their heating so high? And BRITISH GAS ~~ SOUTHEAST ASIAN CALL CENTRES... GET YOUR STAFF TO LEARN ENGLISH. The man I spoke to got my address totally wrong, telling me I lived at house number one, when I'm actually number 64,987,436 (if you think I'm giving my real door number on my blog you're very much mistaken).

I'M DEAF I'M DEAF I THINK I HAVE A PERFORATED EAR DRUM. ALL I DID WAS STICK MY LITTLE FINGER IN THERE AND ~~BAM! I think a hobgoblin or a gnome has been sneaking up to me in my sleep and shoving half packets of crunched up Pringles down there.

WELL I CAN'T BE MANIC. Because I slept HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS last night.

FUCKING HELL I HAVE TO GO DOWN THE DR'S SURGERY. (WHY DO THEY CALL IT THAT? WHEN DID THEY LAST PERFORM AN OPERATION DOWN THERE?) AND THAT FAT, PATRONIZING, CONDESCENDING, DEMEANING, JUDGEMENTAL NURSE (well she does look at me funny) WILL TELL ME HOW DIRTY I AM AND READ THAT IGNORAMUS OF A BANNER HEADLINE THAT APEARS EVERY TIME THEY LOG INTO MY NOTES SAYING I'M A COMPLETE PSYCHIATRIC BASKET CASE WITH "SCHIZOAFFECTIVE DISORDERS" ~ plural. Like a whole array of cuckoo clocks along the mantle-piece of my psyche.

Well I've got to go. I'm going to terrorize the temp agency tomorrow and shall report back.

O and Binky is going to get me my free Bus/Tube/Train pass so I can GO ANYWHERE. Because the government say I'm mentally deranged. Bye.

2 comments:

Old Mother Crack Pot said...

Oh my dearie me. I was going to say something but my dog has just done a shit on the kitchen floor. Speak later, love.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm. Fascinating.

Mark R