Tuesday, 1 January 2013

No More Obsessing

WELL I'M trying to give up the self-obsession for New Year as well as the heroin. I got lumbered with a mental label that upsets me, so I decided to try and find out what that label meant. Which took a long time [as I had very poor reading comprehension just after getting diagnosed]. I only read 2 books on madness from cover to cover but I did leaf through a lot more information on paper and on line. All this has done is make me more self-centred and confused than ever before.

My family think I am overly fascinated by my own mentality and I asked Binky and she thinks the same. But Binky confuses the issue a lot by calling me "mad". Just because I know I have various symptoms from time to time doesn't mean I think I'm crazy.

So all in all this has become a vicious circle in a hall of mirrors and I'm sick to death of staring at my own neurotic reflection.

Anyway that's all I have to say Happy New Year everyone.



Akelamalu said...

HAPPY NEW YEAR to you, I hope it's a good one for you. x

Gledwood said...


Liz said...

Happy New year to you, Gledwood!

I remember once, when I was a schoolgirl, walking into school and wondering if we were all really mad and if 'they' knew it and we were the only ones who didn't. Strange how some memories stay with you.

Syd said...

Hope that you have a good 2013, Gleds. Keep your resolutions because they are what will make your life so much better. And if you can get out of yourself by helping others, it would do a lot.

Bev said...

Happy New Year!
I remember how devistating it was for me reading my reports over & over and lingering on each word crying to myself.
Its not a good pre ocupation if its stresses you out.Cant some bodys initial diagnosis change over time?Spose some body was withdrawing from some thing and was panicky or dull.In time cant there mind settle back?Idk.Just a thought.
Obsessions that lead to improvement are the only ones worth all the thinking.
Love you sweet heart.Pecan twirl kisses to youXoXO

Gledwood said...

LIZ: I remember being at school, wondering what I would do if the Voice of God told me to flood the toilets. What a weird memory that was! (God never told me to do anything at school, so I was fine.)

SYD: I would like to try a way of helping others without it causing all manner of trouble. So yes...;-)...!

BEV: It doesn't stress me out; it bores me and I'd rather be thinking along other lines... I think a person's diagnosis can change over time. But if you've ever had full-on mania you'll always be "bipolar 1". That is one diagnosis that doesn't seem to change, but all others can. You can be bipolar in remission, which is the best I can hope for...

Liza said...

Hello gledwood :D I spent long time obsessing over disgnosis, reading every academic book and paper I could find on every possible correct diagnosis …it doesn't do much good, just makes u feel down n more mixed up, best thing to do just take ur meds forget bout it now get on wi ur life. Same with drugs, try focus on good things n the bad will fade out. Good luck in new year :D