THE MOST HORRIFIC banging and crashing occurred at our front door last night, with much ringing of entry phones and yelling. Usually I ignore anyone at the door, in case they're from TV Licensing (I do have a TV Licence ~ but the paranoia remains!) Anyway after a good five minutes of this rumpus I eventually got up only to be confronted by a shadowy wild beast breaking into my house. It had cracked the front glass and already two snaggling claws were reaching through to the lock!
So I opened the door and said What's all this? And it was just the crackhead upstairs who had forgotten his key.
Illustrated: various terrifying wild beasts ~ none anywhere near as scary as my Real Life Nightcaller!!!