HEROIN IS A DRUG TO MAKE THE WORLD GO AWAY

THIS IS A BLOG ABOUT A LIFE WITHOUT HEROIN



Tuesday, 8 May 2012

The Beautiful Lovebirds



I SAW a pair of lovebirds today. Outside the paper shop, chirping merrily back and forth, then eyeing you suspiciously if you ventured too close. It would have been kinder to the birds to hang them higher up. Birds feel distinctly uncomfortable when they have to look up at copious random passers-by. Even if they are oo-ing, aah-ing and cooing all over them.

My local birdery once had a single lovebird on sale. If you get just the one, it falls in love with YOU. I would love to have lovebirds. (They're no more expensive than budgerigars!)

I had an appointment at the drug clinic this morning. But it's two weeks until my script runs out. So I rescheduled for next week. I'm getting a new worker. I hope the new one is as kindly as the old one. And I hope he's more efficient. He was supposed to be getting me an appointment with mental health services when I was suicidally depressed. About TWO MONTHS ago. Though I never told him exactly how bad I felt. I'd never trust a drugs worker any further than I could throw one!

The real reason I wanted to get off methadone so badly, by the way, was so that I could die Clean. ~ No risk of having to do Cold Turkey in the afterlife!

My dose is currently a flat 30mg. Next time, I might ask for 25. Dead or alive, I still want off that repugnant crap!

I keep getting symptoms of mania. Racing thoughts. Pacing back and forth. Laughing fits. Cannot sleep at night. Valium Marilyn thinking I needed the loo because I wouldn't keep still. My other friend Greg Arious convinced I'd been at the crack. Even his highly annoying and insulting paranoid schizophrenic friend thought I was off my head on drugs when I hadn't taken ANYTHING. I told Greg Arious it was a NATURAL HIGH. Something with which most drug addicts are completely unfamiliar!

We all got free Chinese dinner last night! The paranoid schizophrenic was very generous.

As for my mental "state" ~ it's not even hypomania. My mood is pretty normal most of the time. Sometimes [in the past] some of the signs appear then disappear as quickly as they came. Doesn't mean it's necessarily any "episode".

I am determined to focus my energies anew on my children's book. Haven't penned a word for 3 days since I came to a standstill where a piece of well thought-out dialogue was required.

Still I was up till at least 5am last night so I could have written it then! My mind was crystal clear by that time. But I ended up reading the Famous Five and actually being able to follow what they were doing. When you can't even focus on a children's book [like the night before!] then your attention span has gone pretty terminal! They've just found sunken treasure. Julian and Dick are heaving it out of the river, while the girls look passively on! The creaking 1950s dialogue has me doubled up in laughter.

Well I have to go-go. Too many things to do!!

SAK NOEL ~ PASO (NINI ANTHEM)




SAK NOEL ~ PASO (CLUBMIX) beauty pageant video

 

 ALICE DEEJAY  ~ WILL I EVER

 

5 comments:

Syd said...

I like those love birds. Really pretty!

Akelamalu said...

Love birds are so colourful! :)

Liz said...

Ah, managed to get on without a warning message!

And in the moment it took to type that I forgot what I was going to say. And you think you have a short attention span.
Oh yes, I remember: I was sniggering listening to radio 4extra the other week when they were reading Swallows and Amazons and Titty's name was mentioned. How immature is that?!

Gledwood said...

SYD: I REALLY WANT LOVEBIRDS ~ SPECIALLY WHEN I FOUND OUT THEY COST THE SAME AS BUDGIES!!

AKELAMALU: AND I WANT SOME IN MY HOUSE!

OH LIZ LAUGHING AT THE NAME "TITTY" ~ REALLY!!

AS YOU WELL KNOW, I WOULD NEVER DO AN IMMATURE THING LIKE THAT!!

Anna Young said...

Hey sweets,
Luckily I still have my phone and am getting a signal up here. On my blog I said I haven't left yet. I'm paranoid someone who reads my blog is gonna try and kill me. They too much about me already, they don't need to know when I leave or when I'll be back. I didn't have to say anything, but its that compulisive lying that keeps lying about stupid things.

Aside from that,you stated that you feel hypomanic for a few hours, but you don't call that an episode. Why don't you call it an episode? Is there a certin amount of time you have to hypomanic or hypodepressed before its an episode. I think a full day of hypo mania is a episode, and if you are a rapid cycler which you might be from what I can tell (I'm not a professinal so I don't know for sure)then your always having an "episode" right?

I'm confused. Please explain what you consider a episode. BTW, did you crash my computer? Are you a secret hacker? Am I being paranoid? Burgerless doesn't like me, could she have done it?

Lots of love
xxx
Anna Grace