Monday, 7 May 2012

Most Odd

WHY O WHY did I waste so much of my time on DRUGS~?? They only make life much more mediocre.

I only stayed up till 4am. I was trying to read the Famous Five but just could not focus. My attention span is growing terrible. Pages and pages flying by in a blur. I am ranting, ranting, ranting in my head all the time at someone who is not there!

O I didn't want to say this but 2 friends of mine are dying. When  you've got liver cirrhosis that bad it looks like you're pregnant, that's terminal. And my certain other friend has a breast lump ~ yes, someone ELSE ~ PLUS lumps under the armpit. That means she is fucked. At this rate I'm going to be left completely alone. I'm the only person I know who thinks he is going to live past 90,

I'm not depressed any more! I feel more excitable than average. At least when people die they are at peace.

What am I saying about "fucked"; my Mum's breast cancer had spread to her lymph nodes too and she's alive and well 5 years later!

Great Expectations just came on. The black and white version. One minute Pip was a kid with that Elizabeth Taylor-like brat saying, "You may kiss me if you like." Then he was grown up. Then some people were sentenced to be hanged. Then she (brat-girl) inherits the house. Then it was over!

The dance music (presently) on Clubland ~ Freesat 514 ~ is way too slow. I need something exciting and fast like this:


Barbra Streisand. What a voice. She mightn't have been "pretty" in her prime but wow, was she beautifully sexy. Last night I put on Yentl. Tunes going round and round my head. Cannot get ANYTHING I want from her to put her: "embedding disabled by request".

So here's DJ Sammy "Heaven" Sweetzero remix


Hope y'all are having a good weekend!


Gattina said...

It's quiet a long time I have been here ! I think I saw once your new blog. With the new blog you should be a new man too, but I see, you still have your rollercoaster moods ! I really wish you to get out of there and become as moody as still water, lol !

bugerlugs63 said...

My only female user friend in this town (when I was using) was only 30 and she always looked pregnant. 3 yrs ago she got clean for 6 months then one day she had awful pains under her ribs and got taken in to hospital . . . she died of pancreatitis (sp?) four days later. It was shocking. Special Brew was her drink of choice.
Also lumps under the arm can be a sign of any sort of infection . . unless she has already been diagnosed that is.
Glad you're not depressed any more . . .the above average excitement might have been the full moon.
With love x

Akelamalu said...

I'm sorry your friends are so ill Gleds, they should be an incentive for you to get clean and look after yourself properly. x

Furtheron said...

Streisand had class that was the defining thing about her "beauty" - I'm with you, never a classical looker but beautiful regardless - whereas I know others who are better looking but far from beauty as they lack that classiness.

I'd want to be a bird - to fly just jump up and flap and fly wouldn't that be great? I suppose on that point then a bat or some kind of insect as well... :-) Knowing my luck I'll be an Ostrich!

Gledwood said...

GATTINA: I'm TRYING to live anew!!


I'm sorry about your friend :-(

AKELAMALU: I know. I think I'm going to have to go to NA to get some new friends ;-)

FURTHERON: Streisand had an awful lot of SOMETHING, that's for sure!

Ukh, imagine wishing to be a bird and turning out an ostrich..!!!

Syd said...

I'm glad that your mother is okay. Breast cancer is not good. And my father-in-law has cirrhosis.

Gledwood said...

I'm sorry to hear that, Syd...