Sunday, 20 May 2012

Tired and Depressed

I HAVE been going to bed in the afternoon, because I have been craving heroin and thought that sleeping in the day was healthier than taking it. My methadone is supposed to go down to 25mg after next week, and I suppose I had better show up "clean". When I do finally get off that crap, it wouldn't surprise me if I have to spend the rest of my life in bed, avoiding it. Now that my body has got used to sleeping early, it has come to expect it. I'm awake from about 1-4am, then I go back to bed and sleep till about 10. Meaning I'm sleeping 14 hours a day ~ again. No wonder I feel depressed.

And now for a musical interlude...
I like the "country house on acid" visuals.



Akelamalu said...

Keep at it Gleds, you'll get there. x

Gledwood said...

I hope so!

James Claims said...

On klonopin, I've experienced the same thing, the need to just sleep all the time. But, I've been told by two psychiatrists and two psychologists that I musn't sleep more than 10 hours in a day or I risk pushing myself into a depression because I'm bipolar. Same goes for lack of sleep pushing me into a mania. Right now, I'm aiming for 7.5 hours. It's part of social-rhythm therapy to get up at exactly the same time every day and sleep the same number of hours to within a half hour difference. It doesn't cure me by any shot, but it does smooth things out after a week or so. Just one of those weird circadian rhythm things that happens to people with bipolar, and if you push it in the right way, you can stabilize some of the effects.

Gledwood said...

Do you sleep excessively when depressed? I do. I sleep up to 17 hours a day. Which is really fucking inconvenient.

Is it really possible to sleep exactly the same number of hours each day? I do push myself to go to bed at the same time, but have to say, when I have been feeling too excited to sleep that one goes completely out of the window.

I divided mania into 4 levels with hypomania at the bottom and total incoherent shambles at the top. Even in level 2 my mind is literally lit up from the inside, so I see a constant stream of glowing animated surrealist pictures. No way on earth could I sleep in that state. Except when it's well past 9am and light outside.

I noticed years ago that my sleep was fluctuating between 4 and 14 hours and that was on heroin but off any noticable mood cycle. That's yet another reason why I never was surprised to actually be "bipolar" even if he calls it schizoaffective. A certain friend of mine was calling me bipolar for years but I thought no no no that's not true. Then I thought I was and nobody believed me!! Well that's life I suppose.

7.5 hours is too short for me. I'd need 8-10 in "normality". I have been noticably manic (but on medication) and slept 10 hours every night!!

Having said all that, there seems no rhyme or reason to anything.

Maybe I will try sleeping precisely the same number of hours each night. Problem always has been that even when the nighttime sleep seems "healthy" if I need more I find myself falling repeatedly unconscious every afternoon...!

James Claims said...

I sleep quite a bit when depressed, somewhere around 12 hours a day for most depressions, and that includes naps. But it can obviously go higher and lower.

The 7.5 hours thing is just at the low end for functioning for me. I like about 9 hours and will naturally wake after that. But I've found myself sluggish after doing that for a week or two and then it goes longer and hits 10 hours. The 7.5 is right where I feel tired for about 30 minutes after waking up while I make coffee and watch jon stewart, and then I'm ready to go. It doesn't make me go manic, but it has shifted my moods from being roughly 50-50 between down and up to 9 days up and 1 day down. My mood stabilizers do their trick and I get many more productive days, even if sometimes I get tired in the afternoons and need some coffee.

Also, the lower number, as opposed to 8.5 hours, makes it easier to fall asleep at the same time every night and not stay up, which pushes me into mania. I don't hit the exact number each day, but I get to within 10 minutes of it after practicing. Somedays I flub, but after the rhythm is established, it's easy to go back into it.

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