Wednesday, 6 June 2012

Diamond Jubilee Report

IT WAS PISSING down with rain on Sunday. When I saw the Queen getting dragged up the river in a tiny tug boat I nearly flipped my lid: "Is THIS the much prated-about Royal Barge~??" Then I saw the Royal Barge which was fairly resplendent and relaxed.

I couldn't watch much of this river pageant. I felt freezing cold anyway. So watching the Queen  and Prince Philip, Charles and Camilla and Wills and Kate shivering in the middle of a bleak river in the driving rain was too much. Why the City of London couldn't extend themselves to a transparent awning to keep the Sovereign and her family nice and DRY I've no idea...

I started getting really depressed that night and was fighting to stay awake . Come midnight I was too excited to sleep and stayed high all night. It was a natural high. Either that, or the coke pixie somehow blew some of Peru's finest up my nasal passages. But I never took any cocaine. I don't LIKE cocaine. The high is OK, but everything else it does (like cause a stressed feeling, that can flip into paranoia) I can most definitely live without.

So I didn't sleep till past six a.m.

Then I got up and made more salad. I was going to go down town to watch the Queen's Diamond Jubilee concert in the Mall. But in the end I watched it on my own on television.

Grace Jones looked like she'd forgotten her medication. She hula-hooped all through her song about a river. Then I realized she was singing about "the rhythm".

Elton John roared all through his set.

I must have been out buying cherries when Kylie Minogue and Shirley Bassey came on.

Why does Madonna never perform royal events? And why no Michael Jackson. I know he's dead, but they could have dug up his bones and made a dancing marionette. MJ would have loved that.

If only Simon Cowell had auditioned every act , no matter how "established" before any were allowed to perform for Her Majesty, we'd have had a very different line-up. Paul McCartney in particular would never have got a look-in. His voice sounded completely knackered.

By far the best bit was Prince Charles's speech and the fireworks. Then the news came on. Prince Philip is in hospital with cystitis.

On Tuesday the Queen finally rode through town in an open coach, which is what I'd wanted to see all along. It wasn't the gold state coach I'd been expecting. Or the glass one Princess Diana used to ride to St Paul's cathedral for her wedding. Then the top Royals waved from the balcony. And then it was all over. The Queen gave a speech of thanks, broadcast after the evening news.

I'm not very happy. I had to take more methadone than prescribed just to stay OK yesterday. I took some gear on Sunday, but haven't used since then. I think of this long drug nightmare and I'm tired, so very tired. I just want it to end.

I've had terrible problems with ear wax. In trying to get it out, I managed to completely block my right ear.  SO NOW I'M HALF DEAF. THAT'S WHY I'M WALKING AROUND SHOUTING AT PEOPLE.

Got a doctor's appointment. it clashes with that shit-for-brains methadone clinic, where I don't want to go anyhow.

So I'm depressed and pissed off.

I bet the Queen's lying in bed totally exhausted after the last few days. Actually, I bet she's out working. As per usual...


This was the high-point of the Jubilee concert, and the only song that seemed relevant to the "theme".

I did eventually see this, yesterday, on reapeat...



Akelamalu said...

I watched it all on TV and have to admit the crowds responses to everything and the sheer numbers brought a lump to my throat. Cliff Richard should retire, he sounded awful, Grace Jones was an embarrassment as always. Robbie Williams and Tom Jones were stars. The Queen, God Bless her, was her usual regal self. As a nation we showed the world how to throw a P.A.R.T.Y.! Loved it all!

Gledwood said...

It was good, wasn't it. I never even glanced at Cliff Richard, I find so boring!

bugerlugs63 said...

Will does just look so Royal doesn't he? Whereas . . . OK nuff said.
Is it against the law to say it? I've never even heard a joke about it . . . Even by those "close to the bone" comedians . . . yet it's glaringly obvious.
My temperamental tv packed up after the river parade, so I missed all that jazz. O well.
Hope all is well for you apart from being pissed off. I'm off to N/A tonight, so I'll no doubt be pissed off by 9.30pm.
Take care, with love x

Bev said...

I was thinking about you when I seen the jubilee on tv.I liked the fire works so much and the diamond fire.She looked tired after in the black coat.I hope you feel better with your ear wax.Im lucky i clean out my ears with my long fingernail.My robot words are 65 regida.Nice but regina even better today.

Furtheron said...

I was in fits at the choir on top of the boat in the rain - looked like something from Tiswas when I was a kid. Sorry but it was ludicrous!

The gig wasn't bad - Elton wasn't good, but has been ill... Stevie Wonder!! Just brilliant.

I had three acquaintances play in that - 2 with Tom Jones. I emailed one "You could have dressed up"..."I'm an American that was smart" (Ripped black jeans, well done Jamie)

Another played in Annie Lennox's band.

"So nervous, an honour. Still didn't get to flirt with Prince Harry though"... I can't see a female blues guitarist as a Princess somehow but I'll not dissuade her of her dillusions!

Gledwood said...

Bugerlugs: what is obvious? You mean you don't think Charles looks royal? Or do you mean Prince Harry looks like the son of that bloke Diana had an affair with ...

Bev: how on earth do you manage to fit a fingernail all the way in your ear?

British TV dr Mark Porter says you shouldn't put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear. Well so much for that quackery. If I HAD regularly cleaned out my ears with cotton buds like I always used to I would NEVER HAVE GOT INTO THIS MESS. Seriously it was coming out like potatoes. Absolutely disgusting. I've never had a blocked ear in my life. I'm seriously pissed off about it.

Furtheron: I want to see a black American princess. That would really shake things up!!

bugerlugs63 said...

Who, you mean Mr. Hewitt? . . . O yes, what a coincidence, he's the spit of him!
Is it common knowledge then? I've never heard anyone mention it. Or is that just a British thing? Or maybe I don't get out enough.
Really hope things are going well for you. Really. With love x

jamesclaims said...

Ok, maybe it's because I'm from the US, but I watched some of the highlights from the Jubilee. I don't get it. I've traveled to the UK and spent a month and a half there. I loved it, I plan on moving there some day. But the Queen and the Royal family, I just don't understand half the interest. Probably because I'm from another county that has no royalty. And don't say Hollywood is our royalty, there are no dynasties in Hollywood. Also, we don't throw parades for them, instead we parade them on a carpet for us to gawk at. And the fireworks... if you ever come over to the US in July, I'll show you how we celebrate our independence. Those are fireworks. A full straight hour of constant pretty explosions. So, in essence, I'm here to dump on England a bit. And I expect some hate for that. Still, we do have NASCAR, which makes no sense to me at all and people here like that as well. Don't expect me to explain that ever, it's cars going around in circles and an excuse to drink, that's about all I understand.

Still, sorry to hear about the methadone and the (now) ear infection. I've had those and I'll take the flu any day. One ear infection even screwed up my balance so I looked like I was perpetually drunk when walking. Ear infections sound like a small thing, but until you lose hearing in an ear, you don't realize how much you need sound to navigate life or how disorientating it is.

Gledwood said...

Bugerlugs: there was a scandal a few years ago when some undercover guy who might WELL have been working for the Sunday papers tried to get Prince Harry's DNA from a hairbrush to prove he was the son of James Hewitt...

I can't help wondering whether he is, although the papers poopooed this saying red hair is true Windsor blood but how many other windsors are gingers?

JamesClaims: yeah ear infection is about as major as a minor health problem can get because it's ORRIBLE!!

Our fireworks are always cheap by international comparison!

The Queen would say she's not here to be a star, not here to win any popularity contest, but here to stay through good times and bad, as figurehead of the country and THAT is what royalty is about.

Maybe they have done themselves a disservice by highlighting the "family" aspect of the royal family... I think the Queen nowadays is trying to keep the focus on her and Prince Philip, Prince Charles and Prince William...

I wish Prince Harrry would get married though!!