HEROIN IS A DRUG TO MAKE THE WORLD GO AWAY

THIS IS A BLOG ABOUT A LIFE WITHOUT HEROIN



Friday, 14 September 2012

Ear Infection Gone//etc...

I SUPPOSE I had better write something. I saw a nurse yesterday. A nurse empowered to prescribe. Who looked in my ear and said the infection had gone. She then queried whether I had ever had a perforated eardrum. Which is precisely what I had suspected LAST time (in June) when 2 doctors told me no it definitely wasn't perforated. Even though the thing that eventually cleared the deafness was me burping/hiccupping/whatever with my mouth closed. Which cleared my eustacean tubes (mysterious piping leading from ear to throat) and BANG! ear is totally clear. Which implies the source of the problem was on BOTH sides of my eardrum. So yesterday I popped my ears deliberately and there was a slow whoosh and about 90% of my hearing came back. No way can you clear an external ear problem by doing that, unless the eardrum is perforated. Or, possibly, that popping your ears causes the eardrum to bulge out so far that it actually clears a space in the outer ear canal. Which I consider highly unlikely. The tinnitus is getting quieter and quieter. I have had constant pinnng-piiiiing-pIIIIIIIIng!~~ in my ears since age 17. So I don't let it bother me.

All that is bothering me now is that I feel so down. Kind of physically down. That I have given up drinking all together. Yesterday I had one can of wussy strawberry cyder. About 4% ABV in half a litre is only 2 units. So it's hardly hardcore drinking. And that made me feel heavy-limbed, stomach-achey (because strawberry cyder was breakfast) and generally crap.

Plus my friend Pinxx is confined to a mental unit. Where a blonde Polish schizophrenic got really obsessed by me I'm kind of regretting ever giving her time of day. She says she can tell I am bipolar by the way I move my body (too fidgetty). Also that my parents split when I was very young and I have never got over it. Although it was Pinky who told her I got "really manic" (I would beg to differ; Pinky has never seen me "really manic". When I'm "really manic", which I haven't been since spring 2011, I'm usually too incoherent to leave the house.) Anyway that second bit of information: WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? Is she demon-possessed? Or just very perceptive. I once read somewhere that Schizophrenics are extraordinarily perceptive. Just as many manic-depressives are said to be abnormally creative and clever.

My Mum is on the phone. We are talking about Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment. Did you know the character of the State Prosecutor Porfiry was the inspiration for Colombo? The way he says "can I ask you just one more question: a simple man like me wouldn't understand this, but HOW DID MUD FROM THE SCENE OF THE CRIME GET INTO THE TREAD OF YOUR SHOES?" blah blah.

Well I've got to go.

Does any of this have any consequence? When I read back through my terrible blog, it all seems dastardly dull beyond words.........


Illustrated: tinnitus (I've never tried this product but I seriously doubt anything would work, except possibly ginko biloba); Fyodor Dostoyevky ~ a cheerful soul...



IF YOU THOUGHT all German music was techno and Ozzy Osbourne headbanging crap, you'd be wrong. What the music channels actually advertise is like this: Alpine Folk Music. Which is far catchier than Anglo-American folk. Don't ask me why there's a windmill in the background: windmills are mostly from NORTHERN Europe ~ East Anglia (in England), Holland (of course) and Northern Germany ~ where it is FLAT. The Alps are MOUNTAINOUS. Akhkkkkk....

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4 comments:

Syd said...

Glad that the ear infection is gone. That must have been a real pain.
Some people are just very intuitive about others. I am an INTJ and am hyperaware of others.

Anna Young said...

Darling,

I too feel my blog is dreadfully boring. I fear you would agree. Once in a while something interesting appears, but in general its terriably boring.

I hardly ever watch the videos you put on the bottom of posts unless you tell me to, but I watched todays and thougharly enjoyed the one. I don't recall the name.

About the ear infection...I'm sorry to say this as I know it will piss you off, and I'm sure there are many things you could point out about me that I wouldn't like to hear, but I think you may be a hypocondriact (spelling?). You think your smarter than every doctor or nurse you've ever gone to since I've been reading your blog. Not smarter, but are sure the doctor or nurse just doesn't understand what is wrong with you, and the medications area always wrong. This is a tendancy of all of us addicts. We think we are specialist in pharmacology. I have it a bit myself, as I think all addicts do, as I said before.

Please darling just trust a doctor and the medication they prescribe. Take them as prescribed not as you think they should be prescribed. Its one of the steps, let go and let doctor do onto you as he or she see fit. Its suppose to be god,and that can fit here also. Just tell yourself god is working through the doctors and he is doing on to you what needs to be done. If there is a god of course. It doesn't have to be god as you know it can be just the doctor. as long as Higher power is believed in.

Sorry I'm getting preachy. Do as you'd like. I'm stupid.

Gledwood said...

SYD: thank you. Thank God it has gone. Bad ears do my head in!

ANNA GRACE: I don't know the exact word for it, but it might be "valetudinarian" which is the word Jane Austen used to describe Emma's father in the book of the same title but it means a person who does have something wrong with themself who thoroughly revells in all the gory/pus-ridden details. That would be true. I'm sorry I can't trust doctors I have given up on them!

That is a v interesting message btw...

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