Tuesday, 18 September 2012

Nowhere in Bipolarland

Manic depression  Spike Milligan

The pain is too much
A thousand grim winters
    grow in my head
In my ears
    the sound of the
    coming dead.
All Seasons
All Sane
All Living
All Pain.
No opiate to lock still
     my senses
Only left,
     the body locked tenses

NO I DON'T FEEL that bad. I am sick and tired, that's all. And I have to see the ******g doctor tomorrow. I don't want to go. What will happen? It was originally a "gimme more quetiapine" appointment but Nurse Carol gave me more of that two weeks ago. I might as well hit doctor Strangelove with a request for more. I hope she doesn't put up the dose. And I don't want mood stabilizers. I had SIX MONTHS without even the faintest hint of mania or hypomania and they were the worst six months of my life. Apart from... well apart from most of the rest of my shit-for-brains existence. My worker had the gall to have a go at me for not attending group. Why? Am I really to say my true opinion: either give the junkies heroin or shoot them through the head. All junkies, all mental patients, depressives, bipolars and schizos in particular should be killed. Most of them long for death at some time. Often for many months on end stranded in lifetimes of desolation and waste and utter Vernichtungutter psychiatric nuclear winter. Death is the only true happiness. I want all people to be happy.

I just could not handle the idea of visiting a mental unit today. My friend is on a 6-month section. Involuntary Commitment. The whole set-up, the nurses, the gone-out psychotic patients, it's all too much. They would be so much happier never to feel or think or remember or ever be remembered.






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Bev said...

What a sweet baby sleeping.
I am on penicillin for a burn from the oven having cellulitis.Ouch!
I stoped going to McDonalds not enough veggies on the burger.
I can get a junior cheese burger deluxe at Wendys for a dollar and have just lettuce tomato and onion on it.Im skipping ketchup & mayo trying to lose some weiht.
Warm comfy winds your way sweety.Xoxo

GLEDWOOD said...

Cellulitis is 'orrible. Like sunburn with great swelling. You need FLUCLOXACILLIN. Or if it's more severe CO-AMOXICLAV.

Bev said...

Oh shit! Really?
I been on this 2 days and Im in agony.
I will get to my Dr. tommorow and ask for these meds.I know penicillin is old fashioned and out dated for current times.
Thank u for the info.

Gledwood said...

Flucloxacillin is the #1 med they give to junkies with abscesses from bodged or unhygenic injecting. It works really quickly. When I got cellulitis on my hand and it spread to my elbow in one day, the fluclox got rid of it in about 1 and a half...

Co-amoxiclav is more for burns or things that haven't responded to flucloxacillin. You won't need that sorry I was just being distractional and/or a know it all ha ha ;-)